The Moody Blues

First off, my apologies to those who missed my blog just because they had nothing better to do than be bemused by my random and pointless thoughts. 

I was missing the action because I had better things to do and frankly,  because I did not have anything interesting to say. One could argue that my previous entries were also dull. To those I will answer in the words which Dr Johnson used to say to the woman who protested against obscene words which appeared in his dictionary — “Ah, I see. But Madam, you are looking for them”.

So let's begin. 

I was in the rotten mood lately. My grouchiness has ticked off many of my friends who thought I was acting like a douche bag. To make things worse I did not care to explain.  But then, they know this is how I am. Like a kid lost in the huge toy shop with few pennies in his pocket. I am sure they will apologize once I tell them my side of story.  After much contemplation, I finally compiled a list of things that resulted in my foul mood. 

• I was very fascinated by the word 'pseudo-intelligent' until I searched for it in thesaurus only to find that I too am the one.

• I realized that I can't be too nice for long. I got this realization when I laughed on the face of the super fat girl friend of my best friend. They broke up the same evening.

• My uncertainty doesn't scare me. And that scares me. Of late, I have been asked many questions for  which my answer was the same every time.

Do you want to settle in US or India?

I don't know.

Where do you see yourself, say after five years down the line?

I don't know.

What is your type of girl?

I don't know.

Why do you not know?

eh, I don't know.

• I want punk rockers to be thrown out of milky way. Let me sleep.

• I think I am a narcissist. Just count how may times I have used 'I' in this blog.

• I fear that my ears are growing every day, and that one day I will look like Frodo, a    hobbit.

• You think this post is crap? So do I.

• I demand capital punishment for Rakhi Sawant, and Himesh Reshamiya for torturing our souls.

• I hate people who write short and precise points in bullets.

• I don't get excited when Yankees win. In fact I used to think that Yankees is a pop singer.

• Unlike many, I don't think Sachin is god. I can't imagine a god who is 5'5'' tall (or short!)

• I see dead people. Nay, I'm kidding.

• I prefer men to women. Not in a sexual way. 

• Thank you. I am feeling better already.

A summer that wasn't

Summers are no longer what they are used to be. No, they are still warm and muggy. They just lost their animation. Lets start chronologically.
 

Do you remember your summer breaks during middle and high school? I still have clear impressions of those days on my mind.  Three months long summer. Summer which demanded nothing. Summer in which so much planning was done to be disorganized. When day began at  6 in the morning in the cricket field , stretched through extended sessions of UNO (card game) with friends in the afternoon over the countless lemonades. Evenings were reserved for kite flying and like kites spirits used to soar.  With the sunset comic books used to come out of the drawer. Power cut was never the hindrance in tryst with chacha chaudhary and bankelal. Candle light only added to the vividness. With us used to go the smell of mud and sweat in the bed. Our world was never so carefree before. Those were the summers which every mother prayed to end and every kid lost the counting of days.

Summer during college days was more like a culture. Lemonade was replaced by the pop and kingfisher.  It gave girls the reason to show their skin and us the motive to bunk the classes and sit in the canteen to try our odds. One liners on T-shirts were in vogue. Everybody wore their humor, an opportunity which winters don't provide. As lame it might be but summers gave us the  excuse to drink beers during day time. What else could you do to keep yourself cool without coolers or air conditioners in the hostel room? I know you have much to say but it was the way we were.  Young and restless in the scorching summer.
 

2009 summers just passed. Week days slogging in office. Week ends in recuperating from exhaustion. No lemonade, no beer, no skin no, no one liners, no comics, no kites. Bryan adam's summer of 69 brought the nostalgia with it. To say the least, it was a summer that wasn't!

Smell of rain.

It was raining. Life ceased to exist on streets. Only two of them were sitting in cafe when their eyes met. They were not strangers to each other. Two years back they met in the same cafe. Things were different at that time. Both were young. They didn't care about the world. A while was like forever. Forever was like a while. They had no no idea what bonded them together. And how does it matters anyways. But things do change. They are mature now. Very mature. Two years is not a long time for such a transition but circumstances are. Now laughs lost their spontaneity and tears their meaning. They both pledged to live together but promises are meant to be broken. They parted a year back. Without knowing the reason. Break ups are always stiff but reasons lie underneath. There were no reasons for their parting. Some things just happen without any reason.

Eyes were talking. Hearts listening. Emotions soaring. Yet nothing was said. Nothing could be said. Explanations were trivial now. They had so much to say and too little to understand. And now. Vice versa. The mathematics of their relation lied in a simple equation. One plus one equals two. Equation was still there. one minus one equals zero. A big zero. A non entity. Math was never so morbid. They remembered in their hearts the countless evenings they spent in the same cafe. Coffee tasted so good at that time.

Rain always brings the smell. This was the smell of their past. Sweet!

with love..

Dear Rahul,
Let's talk.
I am feeling desolate since few days. I have never ever felt so helpless before. What have I done to make you abandon me completely? I know we had some rough edges since we know each other but from past few days I am feeling like an unwanted guest in my own house. You must know I care for you and therefore can't see myself neglected and you suffering.
The other day you saw some pretty girl and went for her. You didn't even bother to tell me. I know who pumped you for such a heroic deed. Hence, the heart break. I always suggested you to be nice to people. You never listen. And see what you did yesterday. Had you not laughed on the face of fat lady with nine children you would have survived cleanly without breaking any of your body part. I also felt the pain. Mine is endless list but I am not mean like you. I like to correct people whom I love not to denounce them.
We complete each other. Little faith in me is all I need from you. I hope you won't disappoint me.
with love,
Your Brain.

P.S. I am still virgin.

I hate..

Everyone is so desperate. Desperation is all they got. What I got? Is there any thing called "anti-desperation". Must be. So what I like to do? Tricky! Indeed. What I don't like would be must easier for me to answer. So here I begin.

# I don't like to think. It's contagious. So I maintain distance from thoughtful creatures. They are prejudiced. They are opinionated. Call me dumb. I don't care. You are thinking again.

# I don't like to be nice. Being nice don't need any responsibility on your part. You don't belong anywhere else. Neither good nor bad. Just nice. So am I rude? Like I care.

# I don't like to exercise. You eat cheese burger, count calories you just consumed, you go to gym, you sweat, you burn calories. or you eat cheese burger, you thank Mac Donald with every bite, you eat it again. I belong to the latter set.

# I don't like to stare blankly on computer screen and refresh it without any reason. Come on now don't feel embarrass. You are not alone.

Most of the people don't fit into my world. They are enthusiastic. I am not. They are exigent. I don't care. They are organized. I love randomness. My advice - "get some life".

Have you even wondered?

Human beings are the most intelligent species on earth.And if NASA don't succeed in its mission(which I am pretty much sure) to discover anything having more brains than us we will continue to rule.Alexander pope was right when he said "Little knowledge is dangerous thing". However this phrase is not complete.It is missing a universal truth that we so often ignore. So to rephrase it "Little knowledge is dangerous thing but having little brain is fatal".People who are short of brains often find it difficult to adjust.The explanation is simple.This world is full of intelligent and smart people.
Unfortunately all my friends are more intelligent than me.They usually ask me this question "Have you even wondered?".The answer is simple. No.I believe everything they say to me. Not because they are very trustworthy but because I don't have brains to ponder over their extra smart questions. For example one day my friend asked me a question which completely bowled me over. He asked "If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? "Now being a humanitarian I know that they don't eat humans. Damn!! What do they eat then?? Later when I asked him in private he told me that it was meant to be joke.See this is the problem with these smart guys. They crack jokes which only people with more than a certain thresh hold can understand. Creatures like me are struggling very hard to survive in this levelheaded world. I hope you belong to different set.

Nothing..

Everyone is good at something. This statement is an exaggeration. I am not. To coin a phrase I am jack of all trades. I am good at nothing. Now the thing in which you are really good at generally qualifies to be your hobby. Well than you can say I don’t have one. My resume don’t have any word like “Hobby” in it.
My friend is good at playing guitar. All I know that guitar has five strings. Wait , I think its six. Another friend of mine is a very good singer. Yes I can also sing. But I was disowned from this right in my childhood when I was asked to sing a song in front of some guests. They never visited us again. My brother is genious in maths. In fact he can tell you what twenty three by twenty seven is before you stop asking him. I can also do some calculations. I know two plus two is umm…um.. four. Yes right. Does that mean I am good at mathematics?
So what I am good at. Something that I can do better than others.I was contemplating very hard over this question all day long. Luckily I got the answer. Nothing. Now my ingenious mind is again asking me another question. How I do “nothing” better than others? The answer is simple. Everytime when our subject teacher asks us to solve a problem I am the only guy in the entire class to reply “I can do nothing about it”. This means I am way ahead of other students in doing nothing. I am so glad. I finally discovered my stronghold. I don’t have to feel inferiority complex anymore when I meet my friends and my brother. Do you know what I am going to do to celebrate my discovery? Nothing.